


Small Packages

by Stuart James (Stoob)



Category: Cartoon Network Universe: FusionFall, DCU
Genre: Absurd, Crossover, Drama, Gen, Humour, sandbox
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2020-03-01 12:11:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18800098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stoob/pseuds/Stuart%20James
Summary: The city of Townsville!  But good golly gosh, people: I can't even.  It's the saddest day there could be for the Power Puff Girls but at least they have friends to help - friends in dark places.Related shorts and oneshots of a DC/Cartoon Network cross-over.  Not so much a full coherent 'work', as ideas or odds and sods that relate to the same tale.





	1. Chapter 1

Bruce tosses another log onto the already blazing open fire of his study at Wayne Mansion, then sits back into his plush leather seat to rotate the brandy in his ornate bowl of a glass. After another evening of bad jokes, feigned interest, and cheque swapping, he'd needed a moment of reflection in the small hours, and where better than in the spot he'd often watched his father do just the same. Time was, his parents would hold charitable events such as tonight to make Gotham a better place, whereas now, it's just to stop it getting worse.

A telephone rings down the hallway, the original Wayne family line and number. Bruce felt it important to keep the landline alive, for the continuity of the Wayne Estate and its name, though that does now feel somewhat moot as he ignores the rings. The ringing stops, Alfred's voice coming from down the hall for a moment then footsteps until the inevitable knock at the door.

“Come.” Bruce replies.

“It's for you, sir.” Alfred says, standing in his striped dressing gown and pyjamas, holding aloft the ancient communication device with its unfeasibly long wiring.

“Alfred?”

“Yes. Sorry, sir. I was actually asleep but went into protocol auto-pilot and answered it, so here we are.”

“Who is it?”

“Miss Bellum, sir.” Alfred announces with coy grandeur.

“Oh,” Bruce says placing down his brandy on the side table, then sits up a little straighter before waving Alfred towards him to give him the 'phone, “Okay.”

“Good night, sir.” Alfred returns to his quarters.

“Thank you, Alfred.” Bruce says, then speaks into the receiver, “Miss Bellum. Good to hear from you.”

_“Bruce. Long time. But I'm afraid I'm not ringing to catch up.”_

“What's happened?”

_“It's Professor Utonium. He... he's been killed.”_

“Killed? By who?”

_“It was Him. Sent the girls on some wild goose chase. Kidnapped the Professor and had him up on a building for all to see before shouting 'Don't look down!' then dropped him to his death.”_

“Sara, the Justice League doesn't usually get involved in Townsville's... unique issues. After working with the Double D Detective Directive on the Rank Dank Plank case I swore-”

_“We're not asking for help. I'm giving you a heads up.”_

“Oh?”

_“I did some digging around. He's headed for Gotham. As far as I can surmise, getting protection from Harley.”_

“Sounds about right. Quinzel gravitates to certain types.”

_“That's not all though. The girls are staying with me but... I went to check on them and one of them has run away.”_

“Buttercup...”

_“That's what I would have thought too but no. I found Buttercup and Blossom huddled up together and the window broken but when I asked where Bubbles was they just pointed at the broken window saying... 'Hardcore'. She's coming to Gotham, Bruce - she's coming for Him.”_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All this may or may not go anywhere. I dunno, I'm just jamming. If I go much deeper, I'd have to learn more about the DCU lol.

_The city of Gotham! And it's raining. But oh boy, folks, I don't mind tellin' ya, Gotham ain't no Townsville. When people scurry around here it isn't just to get out of the rain, it's in case they get pushed over and robbed, or worse! But what's this? Seems someone wants to be out tonight in the rain – a filly in feline paraphernalia no less._

...

Driving rain swirls around the abandoned crane towers that dot the Gotham skyline – the remnants of failed or corrupt projects. While they tell a tale of strife, the towers do act as useful viewing platforms for those who would use them, such as Selina is now. Among the foundations and half built preliminary structures a gang pokes around. She can tell they're not affiliated to any players, the thugs are just looking for an opportunity amongst the debris where all kinds of treasures may yet hide.

“Hey!” one of the gang calls to his cohorts as he exits a construction hut, “There's some little girl hiding in here!”

Selina counts eight men enter before there is a moment of pause then cries of combat and baby blue flashes of light emanate from the hut - the remainder of the gang scatter from the yard in cries of confusion and terror. A small child wearing a dark, hooded jacket exits alone and lets the rain fall on her face a moment. Selina lashes out her whip to catch a support strut, and swings down to release and drops to land a few yards from the girl. The girl yelps out a sound of surprise, then her eyes become as big as saucers.

“You look like a kitty!” she finally gushes.

“Heh. Yea, I guess I do. You OK?”

“Yea... They were mean men.”

“Yea. Gotham's full of them.”

“Do you live in Gotham?”

“For my sins.”

“I don't think I like it here.”

“You don't like my town?”

“No.” she says with a high-toned humph.

“After a welcome like that, I can't blame you but you probably shouldn't be out here alone. You need somewhere to stay?”

“I'm not supposed to go with strangers.” the girl says.

“Well, I'm Selina.”

“My name is Bubbles.” Bubbles says coyly, idly tapping her toes together.

“So, now we know each other and I promise I'll be a good kitty. I'm going to head home and get out of this rain, follow me if you want. I'm assuming you can keep up?”

With that, Selina throws out an arm to lash her whip around a lamp post and pull herself up to higher ground and traverses the rooftops.

“Oooh...” Bubbles coos in wide eyed awe then floats up to follow her, “She really is a kitty lady...”

 


	3. Chapter 3

“Mr Wayne! Mr Wayne!” a chef shouts across the busy kitchen. Bruce had hoped to sneak out of the back of this tiresome event.

“Lucy!” Bruce acknowledges cordially, weaving his way through frantic culinary activity, “What's cooking?!”

“You have to taste this.” she fills a spoon with a red soup from a large white bowl and shoves it towards his mouth with little room for Bruce to resist.

“Hmm. That's good!” he says, then points towards the back door, “but I've go a thing I've got to... thing.”

“I presume your 'thing' has long legs?”

“Ha! Yea. Catch you later, Lucy.”

The cool damp night air feels good on his face as he exits the kitchen into an alley, and he breathes the air in deep followed by a long exhale.

“Bruce.” Sara's voice emanates from his side, and he looks to see her sat against a car as she sends a plume of cigarette smoke into the air.

“Sara. Smoking again?”

“Only when I'm in Gotham.” she replies then tosses the cigarette to the ground to crush it under foot.

“We could have met inside. You want a drink?” he gesticulates to the doorway.

“With hacks everywhere? I've made a good name for myself in Townsville.”

“And I might sully that name via some tawdry rag?”

“It might impact on the mayor having a playboy floozy for a PA. We can do without that.”

“How is Townsville? Apart from the recent events.”

“Mayor Plank of Plywood Town just gave his inauguration speech. You know, it was really insightful.”

Bruce isn't certain if Sara is just humouring him or is actually as far down the rabbit hole as the rest of Townsville.

“Pretend I didn't ask.”

“Hm. Blossom and Buttercup are staying with Ms Keane for now but we can't keep shunting them around.”

“We might need them here yet.”

“Is that such a good idea?”

“I spoke with Clark and Diana – none of us think it would look good if we came down hard on a kindergarten student, no matter her powers.”

“But her sisters could?”

“None of this is ideal, Sara, but we have to be realistic.”

“And what about Him? Regardless of shenanigans, he's still a murderer.”

“Seems they're laying low for now but if Quinzel's got anything to do with this, someone will make a mistake. They always do.”

“If it came to it, Dexter could probably handle any immediate threats to Townsville.”

“Just keep him away from me.” Bruce says with sudden unhinge.

“You don't like-”

“His schematics make no sense! How the hell does anything even work?! I don't think I've been called stupid so many times, even by The Riddler!”

“Of course it all works.” Sara leans in to pat him gently on the cheek, “It's Townsville, Bruce.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Miss Bellum?” the Mayor of Townsville sits in his office, shouting into his telephone as he stabs at the button, “Miss Bellum? Oh gosh, where is that woman...?”

The mayor is certain he's using the right button. The one on the telephone. The one painted bright pink. With the image of Miss Bellum on it. The one that stands out on its own as all the other buttons have been long removed by Miss Bellum.

“Mister Mayor?” Blossom enters his office, followed by Buttercup.

“Oh! Blossom. Have you seen Miss Bellum? There's a note here and I need her to read it for me.”

“Who's it from?” Blossom asks.

“I don't know! Miss Bellum hasn't read it for me yet.”

Blossom sighs in disappointment then picks up the note.

“I'll read it for you, Mister Mayor.”

“Well, that's a little unusual but I suppose it'd be alright.”

“It's from Miss Bellum! She says she had to go away for a few days but it doesn't say where.”

“Miss Bellum's gone away?! What am I going to do?”

“I bet she's gone looking for Bubbles.” Buttercup says, “We should find out where Miss Bellum has gone and follow her.”

“What? You can't leave me here all alone!” the mayor protests, “What if there's a crisis! What if there's a tricky pickle jar that needs opening? What then?”

“The mayor's right...” Blossom says.”

“What? Are you crazy?” Buttercup shouts, pulling her hair out in a mock manner, “We can't hang around to open pickle jars when Bubbles is still missing.”

“No, I don't mean pickle jars but Mojo Jojo or the Gangreen Gang or something from Monster Isle might try to make their move right now.”

“This is getting us nowhere. I'll see you back at Ms Keane's.”

“Where are you going?” Blossom says.

“I don't know. But sitting around isn't helping.”

“Don't do anything too-” Blossom tries to say but Buttercup is already gone.

Buttercup flies at a high speed over the buildings, not certain of her destination but she arrives there regardless – an old construction hut. Thankfully, the one she wants to speak with is outside alone and she swoops down to land near him.

“Ace.”

“Well lookie what we got here. Beg all you want babe, you're just from the right side of the tracks for me.”

“Alright, Ace, save it. That's not why I'm here.”

“Ace knows why you're here.”

“You do?”

“Yea. You're wondering where all the players went, and you're hoping old Ace here can fill you in on the details.”

“Well I-”

“You think that 'cause we got history, I'm going to spill to you what I know like a bag of loose grain.”

Buttercup's head drops a little at his response.

“I'm sorry, though.” he adds. “Bad business that with the Prof.”

“Yea...” Buttercup says with a weak smile, “Thanks.”

“Word on the underground is you should be looking to Gotham.”

Grubber pokes his head out of the hut. Upon seeing Buttercup his eyes bulge until huge, then he blows a splattering raspberry.

“What's she doing here?” he says.

“We ain't done nothing, see?” Ace suddenly pokes at Buttercup, “You Power Puffs can't pin anything on the Gangreen Gang so scram!”

Buttercup floats away as Ace shifts down his sunglasses to give her a sly wink.

 


	5. Chapter 5

After making sure Bubbles would be OK on her own on the couch for a while, and leaving a good supply of corn snacks, cocoa and marshmallows, and the TV remote control, Selina goes into the night. There's been heightened activity around an old gas works. Sitting atop a thick gas pipe, she surveys the works. Several men exit a side door, some in Harley's distinct quarter tones, the others with a detail she'd not seen before on a gang – a feather boa. She checks the time, then continues on her way over the rooftops until reaching a chapel and lands on the roof with stealthy feet to sneak her way across the lead panelling.

“You know, one day it won't be me.” she says.

Batman continues overlooking the street at the edge of the roof without looking back.

“If it wasn't you, I'd hear them coming.” he growls.

“Maybe I'm the one coming for you.”

He looks back for just a moment.

“Unlikely.”

“Anyway, I'm here to solve two riddles for you.”

“What do you know?” he demands, now standing to turn his full attention to her.

“I just came from the gas works on Dipple Street. Your new player's made their home there, cozying up with Harley too by the looks.”

“Quinzel and her goons aren't a problem. Him is the unknown here. What else do you know?”

“I found Bubbles.”

“Where is she?” he demands again.

“She's with me, staying at one of my apartments. She's angry but I've got her in a holding pattern of cocoa and snacks for now. Bubbles is a good kid, she'll come around.”

“I need to take her home. Now.”

“Can't you turn it off for just five seconds?”

Batman only stares at her in response.

“Have you looked in a mirror? You're god damn terrifying! If you land on my fire escape looking like that, doing your whole 'I'm Batman' routine she's going to bolt.”

“Gotham needs-”

“No! Not 'Gotham needs' or 'Justice demands' or whatever. Bubbles is not one of your escaped lunatics. She's a frightened child who just lost her dad and she's angry. And you still have no empathy?” she pokes at his armoured chest.

“She needs to be stopped before-”

“You know what? Forget I came here, OK? Just... well you just stand there like a stoic brick, doing whatever you think 'The Batman' would do.”

“I am Batman.”

“No! You're not. You're Bruce Wayne pretending to be Batman. Or you used to be – seems like everything's one big facade now. Bruce, if you find there's some humanity left in there, come find me.” she finishes with resign, then runs across the roof to leap away.


	6. Chapter 6

Selina lands on her fire escape with a gentle thud and pushes up her goggles before lifting the window to slide in. The TV blares on a news loop.

“Hi, Kitty Lady!” Bubbles says with a quilt wrapped around her and over her head.

“You're still awake? And it's Catwoman.”

“I couldn't sleep.”

“Lot on your mind huh?”

“I try not to think about it.”

Selina looks around the apartment then says with a frown, “Can you hear that too? Hm. Never mind. You were saying?”

“I really miss the professor. And I miss my sisters now too. I don't know what to do.”

“There it is again. Violins, I'm sure of it. And a piano?”

 _“It makes me really sad,”_ Bubbles sings with the accompaniment,  
_“I lost all I had,_  
_But I'm kind of glad,_  
_You found me!”_

“Really?” Selina says, “We're doing this, are we?”

Selina stares into the dark night through the window to fight this urge, but as cats already gather and relax on the fire escape she feels her hands clasp together at her mid-rift, then the phrase comes round again.

 _“It makes me really sad,”_  
“He breaks my heart each day,”

 _“I lost all I had,”_  
“I've nought worthy anyway,”

 _“But I'm kind of glad,”_  
“I just want to play,”

 _“You found me.”_  
“But he's lost to me.”

Across the city, Batman continues his vigil at the chapel, Selina's uncompromising words still running in his mind. His eyes narrow to slits, then his head cocks as though he detects something - and resist as he might the urge is too great.

“I feel that I can't feel.”  
_“It makes me really sad,”_  
“He breaks my heart each day,”

“Loss is all that's real.”  
_“I lost all I had,”_  
“I've nought worthy anyway,”

“She always finds me,”  
_“But I'm kind of glad,”_  
“I just want to play,”

“But stays lost to me.”  
_“You found me.”_  
“But he's lost to me.”

And the musical throng gently subsides.

“Can we not do that again, please?”

“You don't like singing to your troubles, Kitty Lady?” Bubbles says.

“And that is not sticking!”

“Townsville!” Batman shouts angrily atop the chapel spire, shaking his fist at the night sky.


	7. Chapter 7

“Raven?” Clark asks, “Any activities at your end?”

“Nothing new!” she shouts across the huge conference table of the Justice League.

“Alright, then. If there's no further business I think we can-”

“Really? Well. OK then... Plank has a question!” Jonny interrupts.

“Yes?” Clark says.

“Plank says, can we get accommodation, on account of it being more efficient to have us on hand if any emergencies come up? Really, Plank? You want me to stay on the big space ship with you? Woohoo! That'd be awesome! What? Sorry, Plank, I'm not being professional again!”

“You want to stay on the ship now.” Bruce says slowly.

“It's not my idea! But it'd sure be cool.” Jonny says.

“What about your parents?”

“Huh?” Jonny says with a confused frown.

“Your parents. Your guardians. The ones who you live with and look after you. Won't they worry where you are?”

“I'm on an adventure!” Jonny says with an affirmative nod. “Until I hear mom call for dinner, me and Plank are good.”

“You're in space.” Batman says through gritted teeth. “You won't. Hear. Her.”

 _“Jonny!”_ a distant sounding voice calls.

“Aw, nuts.” Jonny says, then stands to leave. “Looks like it's dinner time. We'll be back later and we can carry on playing. Bye!”

Bruce watches him run to the door and exit, then looks between the doorway and the group, “How does that even work?! And why the hell have we got a piece of two by four sitting on the council?!”

“As initially agreed,” Diana says, “once our concerns had overlapped, the first Townsville member of the council was to be chosen by Townsville itself – they chose Plank.”

“And what the hell qualifications does he even have?”

“I think 'talking plank' is a superpower?” she looks to the group for affirmation to only find averted eyes and shrugging shoulders.

“No-one else thinks Plank is hot?” Raven says.


	8. Chapter 8

“Keep movin'” a thug shoves the security guard through a door into the gas works.

“I didn't see nothing.” the guard says back as he staggers into a hallway, terrified by whatever this gang of goons have in store for him.

Another of the thugs retorts with a fist to the jaw sending the guard to the ground, then he's picked up again to be shoved forward down the hallway.

“Keep moving. And keep quiet!”

“So. How's errr... that new guy working out?” a quarter toned thug says to a boa wearer, “Is it a guy? If it is, he's _real_ fruity. Ha!”

“Shaddup.”

“Yous don't think he's fruity?”

“Shaddup!”

“Is that why yous are all dressed up like jazz club floozies? So yous can be fruity too?”

“I said shaddup, will ya!”

With a final shove, the security guard finds himself in a large warehouse with further thugs milling around the remnants of machinery. At the far end he recognises Harley seated in front of the raised works offices but not the strange garishly pink figure speaking with her.

“...so I told them, 'Why destroy when I can torture with tooth decaaay?!'” Him says.

From her office chair that acts as her throne, Harley gives Him a quizzical look.

“Yers plan was giving 'em cavities...?”

“Yeees!” Him gives a twirling flourish with the words.

“No kiddin'. But no weirder than the Scarecrow if yers asks me.”

“Scarecrooow...” Him lets the name linger on the tongue, “I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT.”

A final thud on the guard's back send him onto his knees before the court.

“Found this poking around.” one of the thugs says.

“I didn't see nothing!” he pleads, “I- I'm already on payroll. I never even check inside the buildings! Just wander around for a few hours!”

“Ooooh! Do we have a plaaay thiiing?” Him trots over on toes to cup the guards face.

“Please...” the guard looks up at the grotesque visage before him in horror.

“What do you think he waaants?” Him looks back with a grin to Harley, who is already thrusting forward holding a colourful stripy baseball bat. Him steps back with a now even larger open mouthed smile, breathe becoming deeper and audibly quickened in anticipation. Harley strikes down the bat with all her might on the guards face with a crunching 'thok', sending him unconscious to the ground, his nose a blood splattered mess.

“OHHHH.” Him gives a deep groan of gratification, “I KNEW I'D LIKE GOTHAM. NOW LEMME TRY.”

“Knock yourself out.” Harley says, offering up the bat swinging it between two fingers. “I'd say knock _him_ out, but, you know, I already smashed his face in.”

“Thaaank yooouuu.” Him takes the weapon with reverence.

A few of the goons winced at what they witnessed that day and for now at least, Harley likes having a new play friend.

 

“ _Does Bubbles stand a chance alone against the combined forces of Harley and Him? Is the conniving Kitty Lady-”_

“That's not sticking!”

_“Is the conniving Catwoman being honest about all of her intentions? What are Raven's true feelings for Plank? Will the Mayor of Townsville's arch-nemesis, the tricky pickle jar confound him before all can be concluded? Tune in next week: same Bat-time, same Bat-channel!”_

“ _Well, hey now. I thought I had this gig, fella.”_

“ _Will the Townsville announcer finally realise he's just an off-brand copy of the original announcer?”_

“ _Off-brand?! Well that's just plain unfriendly.”_


	9. Chapter 9

“You know what, honey? I just love your muffin tops!” Dexter's dad exclaims in their homely kitchen. “I just love munchin' down on that perfectly textured, rounded exterior!”

“I know they're your favourite!” his wife says as she potters, dusts and cleans with great satisfaction.

“I dunno how you keep 'em so bouncy?”

“Now, now, honey; a girl has to have her secrets!”

The doorbells chimes.

“Who could that be?” he says through a mouthful of blueberry muffin.

“Only one way to find out!” she sings out, and he goes to the door to open it.

Opening the door he looks left then right, then slowly looks down to where Buttercup stands.

“Hi there!” he says with gusto.

“Hi, sir.” Buttercup says, “Is Dexter home?”

“Dexteeer!” he calls into the house, “Your little friend's here!”

“So!” Dexter's dad says with a blank smiling face, “Any trouble getting here?”

“Nah.” Buttercup says, “I flew.”

He elbows a non-existent straight man in the ribs, “She flew... Ha! You listening to this?”

“Oh!” Dexter appears by his father's side then grins, “Hello, Buttercup. Good to see you. Please, come in.”

“She flew here.” his dad gesticulates a thumb at her as she floats past him.

“Yes. Good. Thank you, father.”

“Yea, I got that thing... in the garage.” he stretches as though about to perform an athletic feat, then shoves his hands into his trouser pockets to stroll through the kitchen on the way to the garage while whistling a jolly tune. Dexter and Buttercup hear his mother give out a yelp then shrug at each other when they hear the parents both laugh.

“Now.” Dexter says, walking up the stairs with Buttercup following, “Is there something I can do for your group or is this a... personal visit?”

He stops for a moment on these words to waggle his brow, to which Buttercup frowns fiercely, causing a gulp in Dexter and he quickly walks ahead.

“Ah, hehe, it is a professional visit, I see. Then let us adjourn to my laboratory.”

They pass through his bedroom and the large metal door to his laboratory opens.

“I'm heading to Gotham.” Buttercup explains, “I wanted to ask if you've any technology you think might be useful for me. I mean, you worked with Batman that time, and-”

“That man is steuuupid, he is steuuupid!”

“Really? I-”

“Even when he saw everything in full working order, he still wanted to strip it down to see how it works, saying the schematics were useless! Less than euuuseleeesss...” Dexter maniacally stares at his own clutching hands.

“Was that the big pointy-eared fella with the growly voice?” Dee Dee asks, leaning against one of Dexter's huge machines, poking at a button but disappointed nothing has happened, “Does this button do anything?”

“What? Oh. No, that button is not yet fully installed, and yes, the pointy-eared fella.”

“He didn't like me playing with his Butt Mobile.”

“Dee Dee,” Dexter explains calmly, “it is called the 'Bat Mobile'.”

Dee Dee looks confused then points a finger to the sky about to speak but Dexter interrupts, “And no, his name is not Butt Man.”

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure. And, Dee Dee?”

“Yeees?” her innocent eyes look up to the heavens.

“Get out of my laboratory!”

“Are you Dexter's girlfriend?” Dee Dee's beady eye now falls to Buttercup.

“No!” both Buttercup and Dexter exclaim.

“Hm.” she now eyes Dexter, “Then are you Butterc-”

“Dee Dee! Enough of your nonsense! Get out of my laboratory!”

“Fine!” Dee Dee says and stomps away.

“So!” Dexter continues walking on through the massive laboratory with Buttercup following, “Your super special powers will serve you well in a place such as Gotham, but there is no reason you cannot have some more protection from ice, fire, explosions, implosions, blunt force trauma, pointed sticks, etcetera, etcetera. However, you will be needing protection from psionic, temporal, elemental, floral, faunal and magical phenomena. Thankfully for you, knowing what I do of the future and in the wake of the Fusion Fall disaster, and of course in no small part the faultless calculations of Computress-”

 _“I am only doing my job, Dexter.”_ Computress says.

“Ahhhh... And you do your job so beautifully, my Computress... Ahem! But I have had the brilliant foresight of already creating such an armour. Behold...”

Dexter raises clutching victorious hands into the air and a curtain falls behind him to present a suit of armour on a raised platform; the suit is dark, sleek and shining, and just the right size for a Power Puff Girl.

“Oh I am so going to rub this in Morbucks' face...” Buttercup says, rubbing her hands with mischievous glee.

…

“'bye, mom!” Jonny calls back as he exits his home with Plank under his arm, “We're going out to play!”

“Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom!” he hears from beyond the bushes that line the front garden and Jonny goes to investigate.

“Hi, Jonny!” Eddy pops out from behind the bushes, wearing a shower curtain as a cape.

“Oh, hi Eddy...”

“Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom!” Ed is running frantically around the cul-de-sac with Edd watching on dressed in a robot outfit made from cardboard boxes.

“So!” Eddy continues, striking a heroic pose with his makeshift cape flapping in the breeze, “What's a superhero got to do to get an invite up to the big house?”

“The what?” Jonny says, puzzled, “What's that, Plank? They mean the big space ship? Oh... Oh, I dunno, Eddy. I don't want to make them mad... And you're not really a superhero.”

“Such an opportunity, to study all that technology for myself! I could become a true cyborg...” Edd says, pressing his fingertips together with menace.

“I'm a Flash!” Ed runs on the spot near them for an open-mouthed staring-eyed moment, then is off again, “Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom!”

“Come on, Jonny...” Eddy places a friendly arm around him, “We're all friends here, aren't we...?”


	10. Chapter 10

“ _Meanwhile, over at the gasworks...”_

 

“So what is it exactly that yous do?” Harley asks of Him, still holding court in the machinery room.

“What do I dooo?”

“Yea, y'know. Batman's got all his gadgets and stuff. Superman's, like a... super man! Whaddya do?”

“WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE?” Him says while turning away from her.

An apparition of Him appears behind Harley.

“How's about a song?” the apparition says with child-like enthusiasm and Harley matching its words, though she has a monotone voice then the crackle of an old vinyl record resonates around the large room.

“Really? You want to hear a sooong? Whaddya say, boooys?” Him turns to the mob of thugs milling around, “Would you like to hear a song?”

“What the hell is this?” one thug says.

All begin to make murmurings to the same effect until the apparition fills the room with its red glow and the thugs say as one, “Oh yes, please!”

“GOOOD.”

The crackle finally resolves into an upbeat big band swing, which Harley joins, now finding an old microphone in her hand.

 

“ _Comes from a place_

_You don't wanna know,_

_They say it's like that other place_

_Down below._

 

_Turns your mind to jello_

_Just on a whim,_

_Don't bother to fight,_

_Just let Him in._

 

_That's Him, that's Him,”_

“Oh stop it, please.” Him fills.

“ _That's Him, that's Him.”_

“You'll make me weak at the knees.”

“ _That's Him, That's Him,”_

“Look, I'm turning red.”

“ _That's Him, That's Him,_

_That's Him, That's Him.”_

 

Him slides to Harley as though on ice and grabs the microphone to aggressively address the captive audience.

 

“ _I DON'T PLAY THE SHORT GAME,_

_I WANT THE PAIN TO LAST FOR EVER,_

_THAT'S THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS,_

_MY EXCLUSIVE ENDEAVOUR._

 

_ENDLESS POWER PUFF HAPPINESS_

_MY ONLY NEMESIS THERE BE,_

_BUT THE PROF HAD THE FINAL ANSWER_

_TO EVERYTHING THAT AILED ME.”_

 

“ _That's Him, That's Him,”_

“Just a big mean red.” Bubbles finds herself filling to Selena in the apartment.

“ _That's Him, That's Him.”_

“I want to make Him dead!”

“ _That's Him, That's Him,”_

“That's a terrible thing to say!” Selena joins.

“ _That's Him, That's Him,”_

“I know but I just feel that way.”

“ _That's Him!”_ and the crackle finishes with a scratching removal of the needle.

 

“Put me down you damn lugs!” Harley says as she now finds herself in her final position of the arrangement, held aloft in a lying position by some goons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cab Calloway stylee


End file.
